A little over a year ago, something deep in me quietly vowed to surrender the parts of me that were creative. Because of the season I was experiencing, being passionate and creative took up too much energy and therefore, seemed to be the logical culprits to leave behind.
But God in His gentle and persistent ways reminded me that I did not have the permission to give up what He specifically gave to me.
The truth that blows me away is that no matter what I do (or do not do), His plan will never, ever be thwarted by the likes of me (or anyone else). My insecurities, worries and anxieties are no match for Him. The seasons of our lives that are tough for us are not exhausting to Him. He is never looking at me, shaking His head in disappointment saying, “Man…I didn’t know she was going to do that…sheesh!”.
At the beginning of my art journey, I sent out a clarion call to my church family and friends asking for their prayers. I sought prayers for guidance and wisdom as I moved forward in attempting to make visible what I had only intuited for so long. I was striving to share with the world one of the things that I had taken for granted about myself for too many years.
Well…long story short, prayers were answered and I began painting.
From the simple, everyday act of moving forward in my gifting…taking those small steps in obedience, I experienced a truth available to us all; by grace we are His heirs and the light given to us by Him can never, ever be taken away.
I can’t remember having a clear expectation of what I wanted to accomplish through my painting - I just wanted to paint. My expectations were so nonexistent that during my very first pop-up at West Elm last year, I yelled at my very first customer. I wanted her to know that those were not West Elm art pieces - those strange little things belonged to me. She replied clearly, “I know these are yours, they’re beautiful…are they for sale?”. I was so unprepared, so shocked that she wanted to buy something of mine. I saw value and beauty in it, but was not sure any one else would. I do not reveal this in a self-deprecating way, I just had not given any thought to what the response would be outside of myself.
What has happened in the last year, however, has absolutely been a God thing. While I am not swimming in money or fame, God has shown me that being obedient to my gifting produces blessings. He has shown me that no person, thing or experience can thwart His plans for me.
He is showing me to dream big again…